i do not know why i am blogging again

but i am.
how sad of me.
i have yet yo discover what drove my all filipino entries..

or almost all-filipino

anyway...

rpinting out the history etc stuff on ie club

maybe reading up on it will make me more motivated to get people to sign my sig sheet

plus i have yet to meet my buddies who i think i already know..

damn tinatamad naman talga ako namagapply pa pero nandun narin naman ako dahil i thought i really needed to make friends. which i think i do.

i have tolod brucie and jodie that i am staying in ie. i wont like it. i wont excel, im just staying. to hell with people who are going to say im an ass for letting my grades be all 3's. i dont fucking shit hell care. as long as i graduate im fine. im not aspiring to be cum laude anymore, i do not want to exert myself.

so it's kind of assholish of me to spend yet another 5 years simply floating through the curriculum on the filipino people's money. i dont care anymore. im going to be a braindead freakshow when i work. yes i have absolutely no interest in my course. that should be apparent by now.

bakit ako nandito? dahil dito ako bumagsak. my mom said i could shift and i want to. but i wont. i wont because money is a factor.

i wont dahil may pera sa IE pero wala sa MBB.

sure right now my fortes are english, hum bio and movie lines meaning i either should have gotten an eng course (creative writing? i dunno) or a bio (MBB)...

so there. i shall either have to learn to love eng'g or submerge myself in my ever-dependable distraction that is calle dnot going home.

i cried when i didnt get into MBB. i was kind of confident i got into UPD so it wasnt really a relief. but MBB shit. i was counting on not getting in, but when i realized where i end up, it just hurt more.

engineering. anyone who knew me for the past four years would never guess. im sure. they are surprised to find out even now

i want to shift. fuck shit hell yeah. but i cant. i cant risk not finishing a four year course in 5 years. i cant risk not getting a job right after college. it is my greatest fear in life to not get a job.

yeah shitty life i say.

ayoko nalang talaga..

parang nacountereact na lahat ng kasiyahan ko sa bagong bag at laces ko noh? actualy..

and anyway depressed parin ako. so sad. i now have 3 pending books. that is shit in my life i say.

damn life. and tomorrow, i have to wake up again and trudge to classes i dont care to atttend, talk to people i hope will be my friends and spend time trying to find more and more distractions..

bakit ba kasi walang bio eng sa UP??

anyway.. people i barely know are huggier than my pisay friends.. yeah actualy pisay peeps and i are turning huggy pero stil... yun..

bahala na nga.. ayoko na.. i will trudge the five years.. like i trudged my high school life...